Category: Reviews


Uncharted 3: Thoughts

Filed Under: Hobbies, Reviews, Video Games by Katuchuu — Leave a comment
November 6, 2011

yeah, it's badass

So, I recently had the lovely experience of watching my best friend play through Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception. I didn’t play it myself – I am a platforming wizard, but I’m not good with switching between that and combat. That, and my best friend is possibly secretly the God of Video Games, because I think he died all of ten times throughout the whole game.

Which we beat in one sitting, coincidentally. My brother and friend and I sat on couches to “watch the movie,” with snacks and backseat gaming goodness.

So, anyway, the game itself: WAS AWESOME! I have to admit that I remember the motion being a bit smoother in the second game, but I also experienced some voice-syncing glitches, so I suspect my PS3 may have just been having a bad day. The rendering of the characters was absolutely beautiful, but it was nothing compared to the backgrounds. There were a few times that I was shocked when the characters appeared on screen, because I’d forgotten that it wasn’t real footage.

The story itself was excellent. While I found the second one (and the first, to some extent) a little too supernatural at times, this was perfectly tasteful in its allusions to otherworldly things: it was nuanced rather than IN YOUR FACE OMG ZOMBIES. The characters were well-fleshed out, even the less major ones. The game surprised me by making one of the characters claustrophobic – it was an attention to detail that I wouldn’t have considered, and I was really impressed. Side note – I totally didn’t realise that Chloe’s voice actress also does the voice of Morrigan in Dragon Age: Origins. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, considering that Alistair’s voice actor did a role in Uncharted 2.

One critique I have to make regarding the game was the combat. Not the system itself; the controls seemed fairly fluid and the only issue we really had was accidentally picking up the wrong gun instead of ammo 147380432 times. No, the problem was that there was so much of it. Some scenes were really exciting, but others dragged and dragged, and you just wanted it to end so you could get back to the spectacular story (or to puzzles or chase scenes!). They keep throwing battle after battle of 20-30 guys at you, when really most fight scenes would be plenty exciting with 5-10 guys. You start to wonder how on earth the baddies are affording nice black suits for all their henchmen. You also wonder how many 7′ tall, 400lb guys they hired (really, could have at least given them different faces). After a while it felt like the developers either thought “we can make the game longer by making them kill more guys” or they couldn’t think of any other way to make combat harder as the game progressed.

In defense of the development team, I greatly appreciated the few bones they did throw us – having Drake shout “Why are they shooting at me?! Don’t they know we’re sinking?!” made what might otherwise have been an issue worth complaining about into a meta-game joke.

tell me you don't see malcolm reynolds here

Speaking of voice overs, the actors in Uncharted are far and beyond some of the greatest voice actors, hell, actors period, that I’ve ever had the privilege of listening to. Their interactions are so natural that one wonders how much is adlibbing – or if they were even given a script at all! You can easily imagine them just told what happens and then made to act it out on their own. It’s fantastic. I highly recommend at least renting the game – as we’ve showed, it can be beaten in one sitting. However, purchasing it means you get the badass multiplayer as well! Admittedly, Battlefield 3 just came out, but if you’re looking for a change, the multiplayer in Uncharted 3 is pretty damn solid.

I’m looking forward to the movie – I swear to God if Drake isn’t played by Nolan North or Nathan Fillion, though…heads will roll.

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iPod App Review – The Stupidness Test

Filed Under: iPod Apps, Reviews by Katuchuu — Leave a comment
May 20, 2011

i took an ingame screenshot trying to be clever

Game Type: Puzzle/Quiz

Premise: Find out precisely how stupid you are by taking a series of banal, nonsensical tests which have been adopted from old email forwards about the wisdom of children and other trick questions. Supposedly makes you think outside the box, but requires that you do so in a very narrow way.

Control/Playability: Each puzzle has you do something a little different. One of the earlier puzzles is the old “how do you get an elephant into the refrigerator” trick, wherein the supposedly childlike will simply remove the giraffe and place the elephant in its stead. As a child, however, I thought it was ridiculous to assume that a refrigerator could hold a giraffe, but balk at a refrigerator holding a giraffe and an elephant. Also, my first answer was “cut the elephant up into little tiny pieces,” but people don’t account for the murderous tendencies for youngsters, and neither did this game. The puzzle you see pictured on the right seemed simple enough, except for the lack of monkey. The answer turned out to be that you needed to tilt the iTouch until the monkey appeared on the screen and then tap it. I, frankly, liked my solution better, and also I was playing the game lying down, so tilting was nigh-impossible. If you can’t tell, I was none too impressed with this “game,” as I rarely am with apps that purport to tell you how stupid you are.

oh my god i'm updating!

Graphics: Neither here nor there, really. I downloaded the game because it had a very cute icon (and, see left, looks hilarious when you update the app). Beyond that, it’s not really a graphical game.

Music/Sound: No music, thank God. The sound every time you make a mistake is beyond obnoxious, although it’s mostly because it’s difficult to figure out why your creative answers to obvious questions aren’t the right sort of creative. Think outside the box, but within the lines. Sorry, can you tell this game irritated me?

Replay Value: Possibly high, if you’re determined to show an app that you’re smarter than it. However, both my best friend and I dropped this app like a hot potato after about two minutes and fifty incorrect-buzzer noises. Are we stupid? Possibly. But I doubt it.

[rating:0] (that’s less than that stupid baby-feeding app I reviewed a while ago)

 

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iPod App Review – Something Something Anotherthing

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May 20, 2011

take that, qbert

Pardon the strange title – I downloaded this game back when the only version was entirely in kanji, although I’ve since discovered that there‘s an English version called “Jump Jump.”

Game Type: Action/Puzzle

Premise: You are an overweight islander with a pet panda worn as a hat, desperately collecting fruit and trying to avoid jumping off the edge of the strangely shaped terrain while simultaneously dodging the strange…pinecone…things…that a belligerent primate is chucking at you. Which is to say, it’s Qbert.

Control/Playability: The controls can be a bit iffy at times, because they’re touch controls, but they’re not terrible. One important thing to mention is that the game is entirely in kanji, so figuring out the menus can be a bit of a challenge. Nevertheless, it’s intuitive enough that it took me only a few minutes to crack the code, and it doesn’t detract from the game itself.

yep, that about explains it

Graphics: The graphics are definitely this app’s strong suit because they are absolutely gorgeous for an iPod game. They’re well-mapped 3D graphics with smooth animations

Music/Sound: No, wait, the MUSIC is the strong suit! Gosh, I can’t decide! The music is a lively pan-pipe ditty that loops but isn’t obnoxious. Actually, it’s kind of refreshing, and helps to take off some of the pressure from avoiding that dang baboon.

Replay Value: As high as a well-reskinned Qbert might be expected to be, which is fairly low, in my opinion.

[rating:4]

 

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Portal 2 Review

Filed Under: Hobbies, Reviews, Video Games by Katuchuu — Leave a comment
April 27, 2011

chell is basically deified

I beat Portal 2 last night.

Let me start by saying that I have game-ending anxiety. There comes a point in a game where I want to stop playing because it’s going to end soon, and I’m going to miss it. I still haven’t beaten FFX, for example. There are a few exceptions to this, one of them being Okami. The three fake-you-out endings freaked me out, but I got a good 90 hours of gameplay out of it. When it ended, I had closure. I was okay.

The other is Portal 2. It also has a few fake-you-out endings, and much like Okami one of these was within the first few hours of the game (“really? this is it? oh”). Unlike my mutual parting with Okami, my relationship with Portal 2 slogged on for at least two or three hours after I was ready for the end. However, don’t let my funereal whining put you off – this game was amazing.

It frequently stunned me over the course of the game how perfectly fine-tuned everything was. Portal 2 is less of a platformer and more of an intricate Rube Goldberg machine, with you as the sentient rolling ball. With a portal gun. Portal 2, in a way, taught me to have faith that I would land where I needed to, and not to freak out about which way I was facing as I was hurtling through the air at terminal velocity toward a yawning precipice.

The puzzles themselves are challenging and satisfying to solve. They introduce some new gameplay elements – you don’t just have turrets, boxes, and switches anymore! You have platforms that launch you into the air, a series of gels that do different things when placed on the ground (bouncy gel, slippery gel, and portal-anywhere gel! pay attention to that last one, it’s important), and forced-gravity funnels. Oh, and laser platforms. Laser platforms! You heard me!

Stephen Merchant, of the Ricky Gervais Show and probably other more-known things, voices a cute little node-type robot. He is your companion throughout portions of the game, and is an amazing comic relief no matter what he is doing. I highly recommend waiting until he stops talking to do what he says, in every case. He will keep going, if you let him!

And, of course, GlaDos is back. With a vengeance, literally. Not content to merely run you through the gauntlet of tests, offering misleading advice and empty compliments, she now actively insults you.

“Most people emerge from stasis horribly undernourished. You seem to have beaten the odds, and even managed to pack on a few pounds.”

I won’t spoil the circumstance, but I will also say that the phrase “fatty fatty no-parents” is used in the game at least once.

Unfortunately for this review, a large portion of the game is a complete spoiler, so I am trying to avoid it, without much success. What can be said is that you get to learn quite a bit more about Aperture Labs’ history, which is amazing. That portion of the game is has distinct Bioshock/Fallout overtones, which absolutely tickles me. You begin at the beginning (a very good place to start) in the 1950′s, and continue on through the 70′s and up to the modern day. The kitsch is perfect and the ambience is very, well, period.

Here is the part where I alienate the majority of Portal fans: I wasn’t in love with the Companion Cube. I mean, it’s cute, but I did not get that feeling of fuzzy camaraderie that the game implies you’re meant to. I much preferred the unbearably-sweet turrets, who would declare “I don’t hate you” as you killed them.

Luckily, Portal 2 has something for both of us! The companion cube makes a triumphant, if still silent, return (and plays a minor role in the ending that fans should appreciate). The turrets also get a bit of a bigger role, although they are mercifully not used as frequently in the tests. Not to spoil too much, but at one point you will meet a very special little turret – that scene warmed my heart. No joke.

The ending to the game is, strangely, pretty sweet. I don’t mean sweet like schweet, I mean sweet like awww. It’s satisfying, funny, and makes you a little nostalgic. The ending theme, while no Still Alive, is pretty catchy, and sums up its singer pretty well (it also contains some spoilers).

Long story short, Portal 2 retains everything I loved about the first game: excellent control and gameplay, puzzles that were challenging and only occasionally frustrating, magnificent voice acting, a great script; and added a ton of excellent new features to it. With PSN down, I haven’t gotten to play co-op yet, but I look forward to it. All the other single-player features were well-integrated, they didn’t feel particularly tacked-on because of their presentation, and they didn’t overrule the original features, and most importantly, they didn’t suck.

Hello, how are you? Because I'm a potato.

In closing, if you rent this game, get it for the 5-night option, because this is pretty darn long for a puzzler-platformer. Also, play with the subtitles off so they don’t distract you…until, and this is important, you are introduced to the potato. I can’t say any more – spoilers – but the potato is a little hard to understand.

 

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iPod App Review – Bridge Basher

Filed Under: iPod Apps, Reviews by Katuchuu — Leave a comment
April 23, 2011

a "word train" tests out my badass bridge

Game Type: Simulation.

Premise: Build the best bridge ever. What could be better than that? This is essentially one of those exercises you do in middle school, where you try to build the sturdiest whatever-you’re-building with the least amount of materials. It might be trying to encourage you to build the best product for the least money, but I tended to damn the man and create a $1 mil fortress of amazingness. I won more than a few candy bars that way. Ahem, anyway.

Control/Playability: Simple controls mean good gameplay in this case. You simply move your finger to select where you want to build supports for your bridge, and do the same using the erase tool to remove supports. There’s also a “clear all” function that is helpful if you’ve filled in every available space with supports.

My one complaint is that the physics aren’t always fair. This is a hard complaint to support, but you’ll see what I mean when you play the game. I do love that you can post your best scores to compete with the magnum opus bridges of others. I’m number 1,603 in the country!

Graphics: The graphics are simple, but they’re excellent for what they are. They’re not necessarily eye candy, but not eye lima beans, either.

Music/Sound: This game has neither, but it doesn’t suffer from this lack. I can definitely live without canned “construction” noises every time I draw a line.

Replay value: High, but to a point. Unless you really, really like bridges, this is good for an hour or two at first playthrough, and then good to pick up every now and again afterwards when you’re bored.

[rating:5]

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iPod App Review – Baby Adopter

Filed Under: iPod Apps, Reviews by Katuchuu — 1 Comment
April 3, 2011

silly baby, you don't eat chocolate with a spoon

Game Type: Simulation

Premise: Adopt a cute baby! Be a stellar parent.

Control/Playability: Baby Adopter has a deceptively cute app icon of a smiling baby, but if you’re expecting a Nintendogs or Sims 3, you’ll be sadly mistaken. This app is little more than a picture of a baby with some buttons. You can “feed” your baby such important diet staples as cake, ice cream, or candy bars, but your reward is a push notification-type popup confirming the action and a slight increase in “score.”  I am not entirely against number-based games, but this app lacks that certain something that other text-only RPGs/sims like Mafia Wars have to keep things interesting.

Graphics: The art is pretty cute, admittedly.

Music/Sound: This game has neither, as far as I can tell.

Replay Value: Basically none, unless you are a seriously dedicated push-button-to-level-up type.

Rating: [rating:1] for having cute babies.

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Fable III – Mo Money, Mo Problems

Filed Under: Reviews, Video Games by Katuchuu — Leave a comment
November 6, 2010

I am the noble but beleaguered queen of a land threatened by an encroaching darkness. I spend most of my time whistling at my townspeople to make them like me.

Yep, I bought Fable III. I beat the first game, loved it. The second game was good, but I got nowhere close to beating it due to the jobs being so addictive that I never got much past the first few quests. The third game definitely doesn’t fall into that trap – the jobs are an irritating minigame with recycled catchphrases played at you over and over (I swear, if anyone else compliments my pie-making, I’m going to set them on fire).

I like a lot of aspects about the new game. First and foremost, I have to deeply thank the makers for allowing me not to be a gigantic hosebeast just because I fight with a sword. Thank you for making the characters more realistic and less, well, fugly. The 360 has immense graphic capabilities, so the fact that their characters no longer look like NPCs in an old PS2 game is a welcome one. Actually, the graphics are all fairly gorgeous, though motion is still pretty clunky and glitches abound. Oh, and did I really have to be a head taller than every single person in the world? I know I’m a Hero and all, but man.

i am pretty bitchin'

Secondly, battle is greatly improved. Death just loses you a bit of progress towards your next Guild Seal (this game’s form of EXP), and then you stand right back up again – no item needed, no checkpoint involved. Potions become available for use on the D-pad as they are needed (not missing enough health to warrant a healing potion? It won’t show up, but a carrot will), to avoid accidental item usage. And spells, ah, my bread and butter, those they’ve done some really nice things with. Spellweaving is without a doubt my favourite part of the battle aspect (and is really the only reason I don’t groan whenever I get into an encounter) – Choose any two spells, and use them simultaneously. Want to set someone on fire and shove a sword through them? Fireball + Blades. How about electrify someone after you throw them back from you? Shock + Force Push. Or maybe you’re like me, and you want to toss people around in a freezing ice storm? Ice + Vortex. It’s. Awesome.

I admit that part of the reason I quit playing the second game was that I couldn’t keep a spouse. No matter their house or upkeep etc, as soon as I’d fast travel somewhere, they’d get lonely, and even if I immediately fast traveled back, they’d divorce me upon loading. Clingy bastards. This game does not have that problem, thankfully. A heart appears on your D-pad icon when your family, uh, “wants” you, or when they have a gift for you. This does not always come at a good time (surrounded by Hollow Men in the midst of an epic battle…not the most convenient time for a booty call), but fortunately your spouses (spice?) have learned some patience, and will just as happily jump your bones whether you come right away, or whether you finish saving the world first.

I have currently one husband, Luke the Worker. Formerly of Brightwall heritage, now he lives in Mistpeak Valley, in the Hunter’s Lodge, with our two children: Alistair, my son, named for the Dragon Age character; and Gaia, my daughter, named after Gaius Julius Caesar (I’m taking a history class right now, okay?). They get 100 gold a day, and thus spend most of their time yelling, “I have so much stuff!” and “Our house is the greatest ever!”

Despite my idyllic home life, I must say that I’d like to marry a more major NPC, instead of the random townies. Okay, actually, I suppose I’d really like to marry Logan, because he’s so hot and tragic. I mean, come on, we’re royalty, that’s practically normal. And anyway, I’m the queen, I can do whatever I want! And besides, it’s so darned unfair that the hottest character in the game is usually your sibling (coughTeresacough)!  At the very least, I should be able to hook up with Page or Ben Finn (or both? Eh? Eh?). Or, at the very VERY least, with a character who has a special voice or script, not just the same old same old that you can run into in any old town. But now I’m just whining.

I’d like to talk a bit more in-depth about the game now, so this does contain spoilers. If you are not the Regent of Albion, you don’t want to read past this point.

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BPAL Reviews – Clemence

Filed Under: Reviews by Katuchuu — 1 Comment
May 4, 2010

I keep intending to try Love’s Philosophy, but I keep getting distracted. I was recently introduced to the idea of testing more than one scent at a time, using different arms/different parts of the same arm. I’m feeling kind of purist for the moment, though, so I haven’t tried it yet. I’m worried I’ll end up with too much overlap and it’ll skew my opinion. In other news, I got some Saw-Scaled Viper on my nose/upper lip, and whew. That burned a bit. But I’m being tangential.

One thing that I always find fun and frustrating is deciding, in some case, what the scent is named after; in other cases, deciding whether I like the intended namesake or my own impression better. For example, as I don’t have any flavour text to go with “Clemence,” I don’t know whether they mean forgiveness, Clemense Poesy, or Ms. Louise Michel, the French anarchist (depicted below). I, myself, kept picturing Elizabeth Swann’s father from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Classy, that.

louise michel, the red virgin of montmartre

Website Description:

CLÉMENCE
Patchouli, Kashmiri tea, cardamom, black pepper, carnation, and clove.

In the vial: Ooh, spicy and delicious.

On my skin: Clove, clove, clove! You can smell a hint of the cardamom, as well, but the clove is really overpowering. It’s also kind of got a medicinal scent to it, somehow.

Drydown: Oh! I caught a hint of the carnation! I wouldn’t have expected it, but these smells blend really quite well.

Dry: Okay, there’s the tea! This has really calmed down a lot, and while it’s really faint, it’s really calming and comforting. I’m thoroughly enjoying this.

Things I Would Do While Wearing This Scent: This makes me think of dimly-lit old-fashioned libraries. I’ve always wanted to climb one of those rolling ladders, so I think I’d like to do that. Alternately, I would definitely go to high tea with my friends wearing this.

Overall: It’s distinct, but subtle, with a dash of spice and a lot of sweet clove scent. It’s not something I could really wear on a regular basis, though, sadly.

[rating:3]

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BPAL Reviews – Danube

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April 30, 2010

As I waited for my rough draft for my Composition class to print out, I rifled through my imps to pick out a scent for today. I hovered over French Love, but I took a sniff of Danube before uncorking FL, and fell in love. It was the perfect scent for today. It’s gorgeous out, warm and wet and summery (despite it only being spring). Danube, so far, blends perfectly with the smell of fresh green grass and dandelions. It’s orchestrated perfectly. Ahahaha, get it, “orchestrated?” Like, the Blue Danube Waltz by Johann Strauss? Oh, I just slay me.

credit: drp @ flickr

Website Description:

DANUBE
Rhododendron and bellflower petals swirl through deep, cool, dark aquatic notes.

In the vial: Very springtimey, very aquatic.

On my skin: Oh, this is lovely. It’s gentle, cool, and definitely gives the impression of a slow-flowing stream dotted with blossoms. The Rhododendron is very strong, but not overwhelming.

Drydown: This is the first scent I’ve tested that’s remained basically the same since application  – which is brilliant!

Dry: It’s definitely faded a lot, though I did apply sparingly this morning, which might explain it. It’s less of an aura of scent now; instead I get a whiff of watery sweetness occasionally as I move.

Things I Would Do While Wearing This Scent: Cosplay a river spirit. In seriousness, though, this is a scent that makes me think of floating, fluid motions, and restful warmth with a cool breeze.

Overall: I love this scent. It probably wouldn’t be a great one for winter or fall, but during the spring and summer, when all the outside smells blend and complement it so nicely, it’s fantastic.

[rating:4]

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Yarn Reviews – Knit Picks’ Shine

Filed Under: Hobbies, Needlework, Reviews by Katuchuu — Leave a comment
April 30, 2010

Knit Pick's Shine Worsted

For the past month or so, I’ve been working on a knitting project – huge surprise there. It’s a shrug, the pattern for which is called Verdant. The link goes to ravelry.com, and you may need an account to view the page. I’ve finally finished the project, and I love it!

The yarn I chose for this project is from KnitPicks.com, and is called Shine, which is 60% Pima Cotton, 40% Modal® natural beech wood fiber. I’m using the worsted weight version, available here, and I have to say, I absolutely love it so far. I admit, I’m really quite picky about my yarn, and as a general rule I loathe cotton yarn. But I was intrigued by the Modal, having never worked with it before, and I’m glad I took a chance on this.

Shine in "Marmalade"

I bought eight skeins (600yd) each of Marmalade and Grass colours, so when I finally get around to finishing both shrugs, I’ll have options that go with most of my wardrobe. For the pattern I chose, I actually ended up with two full skeins and most of one more leftover, due to the weight of the yarn.

Pros: The yarn is incredibly soft when worked up, and also VERY warm. It’s easy to work with, doesn’t split or cling or fray. It has a good sheen to it, probably hence the name “Shine.”

Cons: It sheds, a lot. I have orange fluff on all of the clothing I wore while making the project, and on all the shirts I wear the shrug with. It’s also incredibly drapey, which can be either a good or bad thing,

my Verdant as a WIP

really, but as a general rule I prefer yarn with more “bounce.” Also, if you intend to spit-felt the ends together to join skeins, forget it. This just makes it look lumpy.

[rating:4]

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